Viel Spaß an Silvester

I dropped Savannah off at the airport this morning. She should be somewhere over the Atlantic right now.



I estimate that having her in Berlin for Christmas was approximately the most incredibly super awesome thing ever. Ceteris paribus, of course.

Sharing Berlin with her has changed my perception of this place in ways I haven't quite sorted out yet. I'll blog it when it comes.

Until then, enjoy your Silvester and try at all costs to avoid making learning a new language one of your new year's resolutions. In fact, instead of learning a new language, you should resolve to learn Braille instead. Weird idea, right? But you could read in the dark! Enough said.

Podcast!

Savannah and I have uploaded another podcast. This time we talk about Christmas, sightseeing in Berlin, and an uninvited lesson on train etiquette.

Also, check out the 200+ photos we have of Savannah's visit.

Christmas Eve Podcast

Enjoy my latest podcast with a very special guest. Merry Heiligabend!

Sightseeing with Savannah

Much to my delight, Savannah arrived on Monday after an exhausting trip halfway across the globe. Yesterday we saw all the sights in downtown Berlin.

I haven't gotten a chance to write any captions yet but you can see the pictures here.

Merry Christmas Eve!

Are You Sick of Christmas Yet?

If not, take a look at some photos of the Gendarmenmarkt and Charlottenburg Christmas markets that I took this week. Here's a preview.

Gendarmenmarkt


Gendarmenmarkt is in the middle of Berlin, just off Unter den Linden (the Champs Elysee of Berlin). It's a market between two big churches.

Charlottenburg


Charlottenburg is in the western part of Berlin and it is where there's a big old castle. Well, by "old" I mean reconstructed, like everything in Berlin besides the Gedächtnis Kirche.

The Love for Three Oranges

Here's a clip from the opera I went to last night, (I didn't take it, I found it on YouTube), Prokofiev's "The Love for Three Oranges" at the Comic Opera.

It was fun and fantastical and very confusing. I have no idea who the guy in the spoon is, or who anyone else is or what happened for that matter. At any rate it helped wash the taste of the Mozartpocalypse out of my mouth. Or eyes. Or brain. Or whatever. You get it.

Deutsch-slapped! Second Installment

My friend Bruce and I got Deutsch-slapped yesterday afternoon taking pictures at the holocaust memorial.

Granted, we were not exactly being somber and reflective. My excuse is that Bruce (who studies "visual culture" in Sweden) had just reassured me that he took a class in which they learned about this particular memorial and how it was designed for people to be able to play there. I *know* it doesn't sound plausible but who am I to argue with the Swedish education system?

There are men whose job it is (of course) to stand by the holocaust memorial and tell people not to have fun. "No jumping! This is a holocaust memorial!"

Deutsch-slapped!

If one really is supposed to play at the holocaust memorial (I know, I can't believe I believed that) then they shouldn't have put it in Berlin, where playing, even where it is not strictly verboten, is still regarded with suspicion.

And then last night I met Halley and her brother, Trey, at Palm Beach, an absurd little bar where the floor is covered in sand, the heat is jacked up to 85 degrees, and "Cocktail Happy Hour" starts at 6 pm and ends at 5 am.

Shortly after the waitress brought our drinks, I was telling them about getting Deutsch-slapped earlier that day, when the waitress showed up with another drink for Halley. The waitress left both full drinks in front of her and explained very politely that Halley had accidentally ordered both of these drinks, each from a different waitress (she thought they were the same woman) and so she must pay for them. "You must only order your drink once. Do you understand?"

Deutsch-slapped!

And this morning as I was jaywalking across a silent street, an old woman with a walker yelled something (I know not what) at me from across the street. I don't think she was telling me to be careful.

Deutsch-slapped!

DEUTSCH-SLAPPED

Guten Tag Herr Phillips,

vielen Dank für Ihren Auftrag. Wir freuen uns über Ihr Interesse für o2 DSL.

Zu unserem Bedauern müssen wir Ihnen mitteilen, dass wir diesen Auftrag aus internen Gründen nicht weiter bearbeiten können. Wir hoffen auf Ihr Verständnis und verbleiben

mit freundlichen Grüßen


Ihr o2 Team

************************

Good day Mr Phillips,

many thanks for your application. We are pleased by your interest in o2 DSL.

Regrettably, we must share with you that we can no longer work on your application due to internal reasons. We hope you understand and remain

with friendly greetings

your o2 Team.

*************

Understand? What am I supposed to understand exactly?

So German. So formal. So mystifying.

This reminds me of a word my friend Halley uses. When a German tells you you're doing the wrong thing, that something you thought was harmless is verboten, guess what? You just got Deutsch-slapped.

Podcast

Today I've got a most ramble-acious podcast for you about who-knows-what. You'll love it like you always do.

And even though I went to the Reichstag on Friday, I forgot my camera. So no panoramic photos of Berlin. Instead, here is a picture of a dead crow.

German Word(s) of the Week

Das Gammelfleischparty (GAH muhll flysh PAHtee)

Savannah told me about this wonderful word, which was just voted "youth word of the year" by one of the big German dictionary publishers.

Like most German words, Gammelfleischparty is compound. 'Party', you know. 'Fleisch' means meat. 'Gammelig' means old, rotten, or corrupted. Put it all together and it literally translates 'rotten meat party'.

Figuratively, of course, it means a party consisting mostly of people over 30. Yeah. You heard me. Over 30.

If your German's decent you can find the rest of the candidates here.

The word that got second place this year is Bildschirmbräune, or 'computer screen tan', which refers to the pallor of a computer nerd. In Germany a tanning salon is a Bräunungstudio, literally, a 'browning studio'.

I also like number three, unterhopft, literally, 'under-hopped'. That's what you are when you're not drunk enough and you need more beer.

Germany, sometimes I love you.

Christmas Markets and Parties

Here are a couple pics from the Christmas market in Potsdam, a suburb of Berlin. It was waaaaay too charming.




I also went out more than a person should this weekend. But on Monday I had seven new facebook friends, so I guess it served a purpose. And I got to go to a 20's-themed party, which is something I've always dreamed of. Not everyone was as good of a sport about it as Halley and I were though.



Oh, and here's the Radio Tower in Charlottenburg that I mentioned in my last podcast.

Merry Creepy Christmas

The Cabinet of Doktor Musikus

What is an American?

Ever since S asked me whether I was thankful to be an American, I've been trying to figure out what that means.

I still don't know. But it's fun to probe.

Like most cultural classifications, being an American seems to be a vague property. That makes it unlike being an American citizen, which is pretty cut and dried. I mean, supposing Charo has citizenship by now, whatever she doesn't have is what being an American is in the sense I mean it.

One thing that has nothing to do with being an American is race. It's not like that in Berlin, where it seems to me that national identity is thought of as more than just a matter of culture, language and citizenship. All black people are African. People with Turkish parents are Turkish, even if they've spent their whole lives in Berlin.

Can one become an American by choice, or is it just something that happens to one?
I think the answer is yes, but if so it's a matter of acquiring a second nature, not just doing or saying a certain thing. One cannot just become an American, but one may make choices that lead one to become an American.

Can one stop being an American? If so, can one do so by choice?
I don't think so. Or, at least, once one is an American it would be very hard to stop being one. John Walker Lindh, for example, was and is an American.

Is it easier for some people to become American?
Yes. Canadians, for example.

Is it harder for some people to become Americans?
Yes. Canadians, for example.

What's the fastest way to seem like an American?
Use the word 'ain't'.

More on this theme later.

Monday Podcast

Back on schedule, this week I bust some myths about Berlin.

Burgeramt/Frühstücksklub

These fabulous people eating gross food are: Catherine, Jill, Jason, and Halley.

Special Thursday Podcast

That's right, liebe Leute, there's a new podcast in town, and it's not even your Weihnachtsgeschenk!

This time I muse, opine, and cavil about the "best burger place in Berlin" and other assorted delights.

German Word of the Week

schlagfertig

Schlagfertig (SCHLOCK fair tikh) literally means "blow-ready", as in, ready to trade blows. It is an adjective describing someone who is quick-witted.

Incidentally, mit Schlag is one way to order your mocha or hot chocolate. It comes with a "hit" of "beaten" (whipped) cream, aka Schlagsahne. And if you want some liquor in it, order it mit Schuss, "with a shot".

Abortive Panorama Bar Visit

Herr Professor Dr. Phillips has no new podcast for you today, due to the fact that he was outside Panorama Bar at 4 am on Saturday taking this picture.



He didn't actually make it inside, because waiting in line for half an hour in the sub-zero temperatures removed his will to dance. And getting home at 6 am removed his will to podcast the next day.

Not to worry: as a Berlin institution, this particular three-story techno warehouse in the former east will probably still be there the next time he is seized by such an urge.