Work Your Tongue

I don't want to talk with an accent.

Some accents, if they're not too thick, are crazysexycool. Like a Russian accent. Or a Spanish accent. Or French.

But I don't think an American accent is like that. My guess is that it sounds just plain dumb. You know, like a Chinese accent, which sounds like a speech impediment. Or a Boston accent, which sounds like the aftereffects of a trip to the dentist.

Berliners have an uncanny knack for speaking English with only the faintest accent, but one of my favorite things is when they intentionally lay it on thick. They sound exactly like Augustus Gloop.

I can instantly recognize an American accent, and the biggest problem with it is that it makes the German language sound terrible. It's the worst of two worlds: all the sloppy sh's and schpl's of German with all the hard ick's and rrr's of English. It sounds like a nerd trying to curse.

I'm pretty good at foreign accents and I've always looked down on students who were too embarrassed even to try making strange sounds. But the more German I speak, the harder it gets to speak without my native accent.

You see, speaking with a foreign accent is a *physical* as well as a mental challenge. I mean, it's actually physically difficult to make the sounds. When you're only saying a word or a single sentence, it's not so bad, but when you've got to talk for several hours, your tongue and lips just get tired!

If you learned to talk in one accent, it is pretty difficult to talk in another. Every syllable requires deliberate effort. And it tends to fall off when you're tired or...otherwise impaired.

You know, it's like back when you learned handwriting. Remember how your hand used to hurt from holding the pencil for so long, and how it took so much concentration and effort to make sure you stayed within the lines and made the right shapes?

Well, speaking German is like practicing grammar school handwriting, except you have to write with your tongue.