Good...for an American

On Wednesday a man named Wolfgang gave me what I assume was meant to be a compliment.

"Your German is very good", he said, "for an American."

This happened on Wednesday at the karaoke bar that I frequent. And when I say "frequent", I mean when I walk in the Swedish DJ, Nils, comes over to my table to chew the fat. And when the waitress comes over she says to me, "wie immer?" meaning, "the usual?"

OK, so I'm a karaoke junkie. Leave it.

Anyway, I'm sure Wolfgang thought he was being nice. And you know what, that's actually probably the best thing one can say about my German. But it still stung.

The funny thing is, it's *my* low opinion of American German-speakers that makes it such a cringe-inducing remark. Americans, by and large, only speak English. And with justification--there are almost no practical reasons for a native English speaker to learn a foreign language. And when Americans do speak German, most of them sound like they're speaking English, except with all the wrong words.

The truth is, people compliment my German all the time, and they just can't be trusted. It must be the polite thing to do. Last night on the train, for instance, an old couple interrupted my Peruvian friend and me as we rode home from the opera speaking German. They wanted to tell us how funny it was that two foreigners were speaking German to each other.

"Your grammar is so good, too!" the old woman said to me. "Well of all the ridiculous compliments I've ever gotten...", I thought. I just hate being patronized.

Why is there sometimes nothing more embarrassing than being complimented in the wrong way or for the wrong thing?